April 29, 2015

The Bike Ride

I was talking on the phone to a friend from high school last night and she totally schooled me. She's been patiently waiting for Mr. Right to come along and it hasn't happened yet. She used to be worried about it, but she's experienced some change lately. She reminded me of the FUN times we used to have in high school and college. We talked of how we'd go dancing at a dance club an hour from home, dance until 1 am and then visit with people, get a gatorade at Maverick, and be home around 2:30 am. Then we'd all get up and go to work at our respective jobs that day. We talked of swimming in the river and actually enjoying life. We were good kids. We had good clean fun. Where was the fun now? Why were we too busy working that we didn't take time for spontaneous acts of FUN?! We were becoming that yearned for, yet dreadful word: adults. Boring, fun sucking adults. We decided to start doing some spontaneous acts of fun, to remember who we used to be and who we still are. I got a message from her this morning that read:

So I did my spontaneous moment. It was dark it was after nine, but I grabbed my soccer ball and went and kicked it around in the yard in the fresh cut grass. So fun. It really hit me unless it feels wrong, we have to enjoy these spontaneous moments in life.

Then she said it was my turn. All day I thought and wondered what I was going to do for fun. I fed the cows and tagged a couple calves... a little fun, but mostly work. I did laundry and cleaned the kitchen... not fun, work. I had a youth group over and we ended up pulling a backwards calf... cool that a backwards calf I pulled lived... but still not my idea of "My Fun Spontaneous Moment". We planted flowers and ate dirt pudding with gummy worms... that was fun! But I needed a ME moment. Alone. Where I could remember myself.

I finally got the kids to bed and went out to check on the calf we'd pulled and the other cows. It was getting dark when I pulled the 4- wheeler into the shop. It was there I saw my kids' bikes and I decided I'd go for a quick bike ride for my fun moment. At first it felt like exercise and not that fun, but I reminded myself that this was for ME to ENJOY. So I slowed down my speed and took a deep breath of the fresh night air. I tried to relax and remember what it was like to be a kid riding my bike to my cousins' houses. Riding my bike in the mountains behind our house. It didn't take long for me to remember Sunday bike rides with my siblings down the gravel road. Oh how we hated it when the road grader came! You see, that's how we got just about everywhere we went- on our bikes. I was taken back to late summer days and the sun shining through the tall lodge pole pine trees as we zoomed along a mountain road looking for huckleberries. Splashing through the creek and trying not to get stuck in mud puddles. We'd build jumps and pop wheelies. We'd turn our bikes upside down and give them a "bike wash". We'd put streamers in the wheel spokes and ride in the parade on the 4th of July. 

And then... I found myself. I decided to pop a wheelie on my daughter's bike. It was fun, but it wasn't until I stood up on the pedals and pedaled like mad that a smile finally broke across my face. I practically squealed rubber as I pulled in front of the barn light, slammed on the breaks and turned sharply to send dirt flying. For a moment, there I was... the old Summer. It felt good. I walked in the barn and stuck my finger in the new calf's mouth. It was warm, a sign that it had nursed. That was my job... I was an adult again. I came in, and checked on my babies, tucked the covers a little tighter, that's my job... I'm the Mom.

Yes we have to grow up. Yes we have to be responsible and be adults. But we don't have to lose that inner self that cries out for spontaneous fun moments! It didn't last very long, but I believe if I keep finding those moments to remember who I am, I will get a little bit of that girl back. She will become more evident in the adult me. I can't wait for tomorrow! What about you? What are you going to do for yourself, for fun tomorrow?

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